Westside Joe

Now...on to business....

Dateline....Multan, Pakistan....

MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus. (insert open mouthed emoticon here)
Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the "object".
"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.
"We had to take it out intact," (Is there another option?) said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation." (Um...no shit...literally)
Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.
"When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.
"I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."
The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.

"Hey Mo....your lucky it wasn't a ferret like last time"

I think the Pakistan Penial System need to come up with some more "creative time" things to do for these guys...maybe arts and crafts...instead of sitting around and entertaining themselves by finding interesting places to lodge a Sylvainia 60watt Soft White...now thats boredom. Or maybe this guy is just a smartass with ideas....and they wanted to do some sort of "Living Art" interpretation for his punishment. Either way...this just teaches me to not smuggle Goldschalger into Islamabad. My advice to Mo...next time someone says..."Hey...ever smelled ether before" maybe you should pass.

Late's

DK

// posted by Dirty~Kash @ 2:59 PM 0 comments

KIEV (Reuters) - A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to
death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo
official said on Monday.
"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists',
lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to
the lions," the official said.
"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him
down and severed his carotid artery."
The incident occured Sunday evening when the
zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions
and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.

See, this is what happens when people watch David Blaine....

For his next trick, he's going to rise from the dead and uppercut the Pope....

Now we all know where he screwed up right...."The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists'...come on...we all know God is a woman....I can just picture Her up at the pearly gates snappin Her fingers and sayin "Oh No he Di-Ent" with a little 'tude.

And because if God was a man...

Football season would be year round....Brad Pitt would be fat and bald...Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie would be locked in a room for a month till one ate the other...Guys Night Out wouldn't be followed by Guilt Trip Morning...and GAS PRICES WOULDNT BE $3.20 A FRIGGIN GALLON!!!!

AND IM OUT!

DK in 2008

// posted by Dirty~Kash @ 3:51 PM 0 comments