Westside Joe

Oh my FUCKING god......

Please somebody answer a question for me....WHAT IS THIS FASCINATION PATCHOULI!!! I will explain my circumstances. Yesterday...while waiting patiently for the cattle car "bus" home from my ever increasing psychodrama know as my job..I become olfactory assulted by hippie dread girl walking by. Problem being...she just didnt just walk by...she stopped...about 2 feet from me..engulfing me in her web of stank! The patchouli reek off of her actually fogged up the windows of the coffee house where my bus stop is located. And to top it off...it was raining...so it became wet patchouli stank...After about 10 seconds of feeling like I was being punched in the face...I had to move upwind of her...

Now you ask....how can this get any better....She actually got on my bus....aaaaaaaaaannnnddddd......................Sat in the seat in front of me. Now this actually made me to say out loud...."OHHHHH YOU GOTTA BE FUCKIN KIDDING ME"....I mean...you needed a whip and a chair to get near this beeyatch...I think they must have been testing some new weapon for usage in Iraq on her....So I sat there with my face buried in my shirt for the entire ride. Next time...Im just gonna light her on fire and cleanse away the evil spirits of STANK!

Ok...so my weekend starts a day early..I get to fly off to Lake Tahoe tomarrow for a bacholer party..Now I say Lake Tahoe...because if anyone knows me...they know my home away from home is Las Vegas and there is no seconds...so you might as well stamp a tatoo on my ass that says "Official Member of the Rat Pack" (Dino, Frankie, Sammy...You are missed)...so I say Lake Tahoe cuz it sounds way cooler than I am off to Reno for the weekend. Well if you need me...I'll be at the Craps tables...

Update on Club Element...
Well it sounds like Seattles newest club got off to mixed reviews last weekend. Due to the need to open and make money, the club was only about 75% completed. But the final plans sound like its should be the hot spot for the next year to come. And it also looks like they are going to have some top notch headlining DJ's coming in behind the decks....I am sure I will be trippin the night at the Element on many occasions in the near future. I would give it about a month to straighten itself out...then it should be hittin! If you wanna Rendevouz with the D'Mack...check me there on Oct 1st for Kimball Collins set...oh...and your in charge of the party favors....

Riiiiiiiiicccccoooooo.......Suave`

D'Mack

EVERYBODY....ROCK YOUR BODY...
EVERYBODY...ROCK YOUR BODY RIGHT....
DADDY MACK'S BACK...ALRIGHT!

Now I know what your going to say....."two blog postings this week...Joe's gonna get fired"

Well if they ever find out why the bathroom smells like a Jamaican Reagae club around lunch time..Im Fucked!

So where are we so far...Thursday huh...Weekend update...Well...unless you women get off your butts and send me an invitation or something, looks like I might need to take it a little low this weekend...Leaving for Lake Tahoe next weekend so l think I should conserve the gambling funds till then...of course...that doesnt mean a HOUSE PARTY isnt in order...drop me a line if your interested..

Funny shit I have said lately:

*And God looked down on the Ganja and proclaimed it was good...and on the 7th day..he smoked himself stupid....so yea...he did not have the energy to go outside, instead, he created Nachos....* Book of Daddy Mack 6:9

"Or is that herpes….GOD I hope not….jeeeeze I always get that confused"

"The ususal….fighting crime….ridding the world of Disease and Yanni records."

"Mannnnnnn….fuck the Care Bears!"

"Hold the lettuce and tomatos…Im on a diet…"

(follow up from last one) "Can I get a McJaegermeister?"

"Well if I knew you were going to do that I would have gone back in time and made your Dad wear a CONDOM!"

"What??? You’re sponsoring a kid overseas??? Why don’t you just move him to where the food is!"

"Stinks like Sex in here"…(yeah I know that’s from Super Troopers…but its multi purpose)

"Ohhh..umm thats Powedered Sugar...I was just eating a Donut"

Feel free to use my material..just give me credit

Smack it up...Flip it...Rub it Down...OHHH NOOOOO!!!

D'Mack

Brutha's gonna work it out.....yeah...yeah....Brutha's gonna work it out....

So as I sit here staring at the twin 21inch monitors in my face just wondering if the radiation is cooking my brain from the inside...I think...wow...I am so lucky to be at work today. There is no fricken possible way I could be doing anything fun with my life during this time....

Seattle weather forcast today: (I do not have the time or energy to make this up)

Clearing....with Rain Showers....And my next response was......WHAT THE FUCK! How is that possible????????? Anyone care to enlighten me?

And from the land of "No Shit, Dick Tracy"...we have our esteamed leader:

"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

"You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order — order out of chaos. But we will." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2003

"In my judgment, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences." —George W. Bush, Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004

And to sum it all up: "I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'" —George W. Bush, Beaverton, Oregon, Aug. 13, 2004

Amen.....

I am sooooo JACKED about this new club opening here in Seattle...from all indications its going to be the spot...Vegas style....Partying like a Rockstar up in the VIP...can't wait...its just what this town needs....and come to find out that my favorite DJ from Orlando is going to be there on the 1st of October...Kimball Collins...check him out if you know how.

I'll blog again soon...

Pocket Aces BABY!

D'Mack

"Whew...I havent drank that much White Lightning since Uncle Jesse shot Cooter in ass with my Bow and Arrow...I still cant believe Daisy caught me watching her shower....I know she's my cousin but DAMN!"

*D-Mack shakes himself out of his lunch time sleep coma*

Ohhhh shit..guess I'm on the Mic huh??

Whats up my Peoples...just checking in from the land of Assholes and Idiots. I have a question...do you think it was wrong of me to use the excuse of a Doctors Appointment so I could use sick leave for my real IRS meeting? Well...it was kinda like an anal exam..so I think it qualifies.

I am feeling my steam building...weekend is getting closer and there are new clubs opening up in Downtown Seattle. Definately will need to check them out soon.

So nothing cools off a hot time with a girl then when your heater on the Hot Tub give out....Dont worry...its in the process of repair. So Ladies, feel free to schedule your next session at the D-Mack Spa today! (wow...could I BE any cheezier???)

I wanted to Pimp my friends band, They are on the Verge of great things so if you ever have the time...check out the site. They are based in Orlando, so if your ever in O-Town...make sure you catch the show.... http://www.zoabackstage.com/

So some may ask what "BaDunkaDunk" is...hahaha...well its a word for the Girls with booty! (and the Cars that Go BOOM! [....see L'Trimm circa 1988])

And when I mean Booty...I'm not just talkin about THE Booty...but the style and attitude too....I'm on the search for some BaDunkaDunk this weekend....thats Fo Shure!

By The Way....I just wanted to fit the word "Cooter" in my blog today....I think its a funny ass name...I might curse my first born with it...boy or girl..doesnt matter. I'm evil like that.

Well...I'm getting the "wrap this up" signal from the director...

Sorry y'all that its short...but I'm a busy guy...got things to do...people to see...bitches to serve...yeah thats right...You GOT served......so now I guess its ......"ON"??? I don't know...I always forget.....

A Kerry in the Hand and Two Bush's still isnt worth my vote...

D-Mack

"And God said to Man...go make Goldschlager...and drink it plentiful...and you will pray to me at the end of the night hovering over a swirling bowl of water....And I will grant thy wish and take back the Goldschalger and whatever else you ate that night after the club."

From the Book of Joe of Latter-Night Drunk "The Alcoholics"

Ohhhhh...I'm going to Hell....

I had one of the funniest emails ever yesterday, it seems a friend of mine really wants to see the Passion of Christ. I was raised a Catholic...(don't worry...Father McStickyfingers never got his paws on me). Well, lucky for me I was paroled after 18 years and sent on my way to a guilt free lifestyle. To entice me to view this movie with her she offered to bring over Margarita's, which strikes me as hilarious...and then my demented mind started kicking in...

Passion of Christ Drinking Games:
Do a Shot every time Jesus cures a blind person
Name all the 12 Apostles, for every one wrong..you do a shot
Thumbmaster everytime Jesus tell a parable...last one to catch on drinks

Anyway... the problem for me is that I already know how the movie ends....why would I want to watch it? Although this is Hollywood and I am sure the adaptation from the book to screenplay never quite made it verbatim (I dont think they find out it was Judas who set him up...can someone say Sequel?)

Keep it Krackin Y'all...see ya at Da Club
DM